I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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