We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
porn star boner night. come get it.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
