Just mADE A PArabola og urine
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
