:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
