sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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