How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize