im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
