There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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