shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I pour the whiskey from now on
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
