dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
