i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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