I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
