I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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