Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
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