Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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