Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
