The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It's shark week go big or go home
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
