She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
