VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
