okay pat passed out under dana's car
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Randomize
