Me. At least after what I've been through.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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