Dual....:-)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
We smell like vodka and hangover
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