she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
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