Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
