go do what you do best...puke behind churches
are you so shy because you have an std?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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