I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
time to smoke my breakfast
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
