Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
