Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
