i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
