Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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