We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
