I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
