Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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