I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
