She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
