So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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