apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
