Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize