I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
