evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
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