still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
