i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
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think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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