i jhust puked up my retainher.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
