my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
