you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
