$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
