Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
