I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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