If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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