its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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