My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
