Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
