Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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