It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
