he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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