i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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