You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
