just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
